The Sound of Pouring Rain

This month marks the end of another  year, and if you’re anything like me you’ve had your fair share of disappointment and also miracles that may seem few and far between. But it’s those tiny winy miracles that have kept me pressing on. I’ve hoped for many things- I’ve prayed, trusted, and waited patiently on God for them to become a reality. Some of them have come to pass, but others I believe, are still in the making, waiting for God’s appointed time.

A few days ago a friend reminded me of the story of Elijah…there had been famine and drought in the land of Samaria. But the prophet Elijah proclaimed that he had heard “the sound of an abundance of rain”.  He sent his servant out to the sea, and six times the servant came back and said “I see nothing”.  The prophet kept sending him back, until on the seventh time he came with a different report.  He said he saw a little cloud, the size of a man’s hand. Elijah then quickly sent him on his way to avoid being overtaken by the rain.

Now this here sounds a little ridiculous. First of all the land had not seen a drop of rain for over three years. My guess is that they had even stopped hoping for it to pour. They no longer checked the clouds to see if they were gathering. The people had found alternate ways to cope; some had probably moved on to other regions in order to survive. Then along comes this prophet who declared that it would rain? And not just rain, but a heavy down pour! Amazingly as the story goes, the heavens darkened as the clouds gathered, and there was great rain in the land.

As I continue to reflect on the year that has been I think of the many ‘almost victories’ that I had. Countless opportunities that seemed like they would be my big break on things I’ve prayed about and just when it looked like everything was in place, it all fell through. I also recall the countless times I have cried before the Lord; I have prayed, and fasted, named, and claimed things and believed in faith that I would receive them. And then waited day after day, month after month, and now another year and still not where I wanted to be. So when my friend reminded me about Elijah I felt a little like the children of Samaria. Fatigued, doubtful, and yes, a little if not very skeptical. But truth be told, over the years I’ve seen glimpses of what amazing things God can do if I let Him do it His way and in His time.

I’m writing this unafraid of exposing my own insecurities, failures, and vulnerabilities  for the sake of anyone who is at the end of their line; those of you who are so weary of walking in the wilderness, barely surviving with only enough for the moment. I write this for those who are in despair and have stopped hoping for change; for a miracle. I want to tell you that there is the sound of an abundance of rain. Go on out in faith and look at the clouds…they are gathering. Do you perceive it? No? Not yet? Go out again…do you see it now? It’s small…the size of a fist. But it’s there. It’s your miracle. It’s a sign that God has not forgotten you. Dig your trenches, and prepare for the rain. Your mind may not believe it, but I sure hope your spirit does. May God give you the courage to dream again; dare to believe everything God has put in your spirit to believe. Your answer, your dream, your healing, your peace, your joy, your desire- it’s all on its way. There is power in waiting- not anxiously, but expectantly. And just like Elijah, don’t waver in your faith when there seems to be a delay. If God said it, beloved it’s only a matter of time. 

As we cross over to a new year, may your spirit rise to a new level. May you find the courage to face the year 2013 fearlessly. I believe that it’s going to be a great year, but I also believe that it will take total obedience and trust in God. Remember that He is not a man that He should lie; whatever He says, He does. Don’t short-circuit or sabotage your destiny by allowing fear and doubt to make a home in your heart.

May the Lord cover your shame. May He put a new song in your mouth, and a new spring to your step. May every promise that’s waiting fulfillment in your life come to pass. May God do exceedingly, abundantly, above all that you could ever ask or think! May you be soaked and saturated by the abundant rain of the Lord.

Happy New Year!!

Kambua M.

She Will Never Know...

A friend of mine recently told me a fascinating story about his childhood crush. He met ‘her’ when they were both teenagers. But more than just her beauty and radiance was the fact that she’d grown up on the opposite side of town. You see, he had moved to the city to earn a living, and was the true definition of a hustler. In Nairobi lingo, he would have been called a' sufferer'. Lol. He was so badly off, that he often had to rely on his friends to lend him clothes. He had nothing but big dreams, and lots and lots of love for the girl. It would probably be an assumption to say that the girl had grown up with a silver spoon in her mouth, but she was fortunate enough to have had most, if not all her needs met. Nonetheless, my friend gathered his courage and asked her out on a date. Surprisingly, she said YES. I think more out of intrigue and curiosity than anything else.  He was excited! This was his chance to tell the girl how he felt about her, and maybe just maybe, it would be the genesis of something beautiful.

On the day they were set to meet, the girl as was her custom, made it on time and patiently waited for him (my friend) to come.  After about thirty minutes of sitting by herself she decided to call him to make sure everything was ok. He was very quick to tell her that ‘YES’ all was well, in fact he was almost there. An hour and a half later, he was still a no-show, and the girl slowly started to lose her patience. Four phone calls and three hours later, believe it or not, my friend STILL had not arrived. When she made what she decided was the final call, she got the same answer she’d gotten an hour earlier- “I’m just round the corner. I’ll be there in less than five minutes”. In a mixture of anger, frustration, and despair, she grabbed her purse and made her way back home, never to look back.  So much for that!

Years later, my friend is no longer ‘struggling’  he is thriving…life turned out to be much better than he ever anticipated. His hard work paid off. And the girl? Life went on for her too. In fact, he probably became a vague memory in the archives of her life, after that disastrous, or should I say non-existent date. Well, this is not a fairytale…they did not end up together and then ride off into the sunset. No. She moved on, never having known why a boy who had worked so hard to ask her out on a date stood her up. She went on with her life…no answers…

So it was at this point that in disbelief I asked my friend WHY on earth he would do such a thing! I wanted to even suggest that maybe his unacceptable behavior explained why he was still single... So then he paused and very quietly said to me, “I had no money to take her out.  My friend had said he would lend me some money but he didn’t come through. How could I have told her that I had no money for the date I had wanted for so long”? He explained how he kept buying time hoping another one of his friends would  come through for him, but they didn’t. My judgmental thoughts were quickly arrested on their tracks…thank God I hadn’t voiced them. My heart went out  to my friend…he was too young to know that everyone has at one time been at a place where what they wanted to do was just a little bit out of reach, but that didn’t make them any less of a person. He was too young to know that maybe if he’d just been honest with her she would chosen to take a walk with him instead…maybe, just maybe the sincerity of his heart would have been the one thing that would have made her fall in love with him.  But because he was afraid…she will never know. And…what shoulda coulda woulda been, will never be. His love for her...his plans for the two of them...she will never know.

I went home deep in thought, replaying my friends’ almost fairytale over and over in my mind. I realized that I have walked in his shoes not once, not twice, but many, many, times. I’ve been at a place of insecurity, feeling insignificant, not having enough to offer- not to a boy, but to Him; the one who captured my heart, My redeemer.  I’ve known over time that in Him I can expose my nakedness, my anxieties, without fear of criticism and judgment. I’ve known oh too well, that even when I feel inadequate, having nothing to offer  He is still there, waiting patiently for me to declare my love and devotion to Him. He waits to renew my strength. He waits for me to invite Him to do life with me…to walk with me through fire, the storms, the dark valleys…the mountaintops.  I know that He knows everything about me and yet I still find myself being a no-show time and time again.

So today I’m getting myself together and just as I am, I will go and meet Him. I want to spend time with the one who has been waiting for me.  I want Him to know that I need Him; that I can’t walk this life alone. He who loves me with an everlasting love- I want Him to know that He is the best friend I could ever have. I want Him to know…

Kambua M.

He Remembers You

I have always loved the sound of falling rain, and especially when it falls and finds me cozily tucked away in my house, either by a fire or with a hot cup of coffee. It is on rainy rights that I especially sleep very soundly. There’s a comfort that comes with the sound of falling rain. But I also remember nights spent at my grandparent’s place- whenever it rained at night, the sound would be deafening, because it was falling on iron sheets, ‘mabati’ if you like. Sometimes I’d try and cover my head with the blanket in an attempt to muffle the noise, with little success of course. The rain would pound mercilessly and relentlessly on the roof, for hours on end. It was almost impossible to even have a conversation unless you had the energy to literally yell over the cluttering sound of loose rooftop sheets.

Life can sometimes seem like that…when you feel as though it’s rained for hours on end. The sound of your frustration is so loud, and clearly mirrored by those around you. You wish you had control over the events that keep unfolding. You wait, and pray, and hope for a miracle, a breather; but it doesn’t come. At least not as fast as you wished it could.  There are times when the enemy comes in like the flood that the prophet Isaiah liked him to. Everything that could possibly go wrong inevitably goes wrong. And when you think that it couldn’t get any worse, guess what? It does. The enemy will come at you in every way possible, to attack your mind, your marriage, your ministry; everything that is born of God in your life. But Isaiah goes on to say that the Spirit of God will lift up a standard, a shield against Him. The Lord allowed Satan to test Job, but He also put limitations on how far the devil could go. The same has He done for you; He will allow you to be tested, but there is a demarcation. When you feel you're at a breaking point and can't handle any more pressure, the Spirit of the Lord lifts up the wall of the blood of Jesus and tells Satan, 'This far and no further'!

Beloved, there is a wall of protection around you; against any wiles of the enemy, those that you see and those that you’re not even aware of- the Lord protects you against them all. There is also a time of deliverance for you. In the same way that the rain pours hard, but eventually ceases, so is there a time of rest for you. It may have taken many stormy, dark, lonely, frustrating days for Noah in the ark, but the Word says that ‘God remembered Noah…’ This is not to mean that God had abandoned him when he was in the flood, it simply means that God kept His promise to Noah.  Many times we feel forgotten by God because of how battered by the storms of life we are. It seems as though we’ve been sailing out at sea with no navigator, no friend, and no God. He seems distant, and quiet. But God, who has faithfully carried me through dark nights and high waters want me to let you know that He hasn’t forgotten you. Your time of deliverance is at hand.  God remembers you, and He desires for you to remember Him, and all He’s carried you through. In your dark times, in your lonely times, and in your moments of defeat- remember God.  The flood-waters of your life may be a long ways from subsiding, but God remembers you. Just because it looks as though He’s not working does not mean He isn’t. His ways are not our ways. He works in ways that only He can.

As you wait for the rain to stop, allow Him to keep you in the eye of the storm; that place of quiet and rest right in the middle of chaos. He will give you sustaining grace to weather any situation. When your resources are depleted and you feel that all hope is lost, God has provided a refuge that's higher than your circumstances; a place where you live under His divine protection.

You are not alone, God promises to never leave you nor forsake you…He remembers you.

Kambua M.