Right outside our apartment is a big jacaranda tree. Its
branches offer good shade, and the view it gives from my bedroom and kitchen
window is priceless. But a little over a month ago, I discovered that I was not
the only one who had formed an attachment to the tree. I noticed there was a bird that began to make
frequent visits to this particular tree. Before I knew it, what at first seemed
like gibberish was skilfully and quickly being thatched into a nest. The bird
worked diligently day after day. I noticed that she wasn’t alone either; there
was another one which I guessed was the male. He often flew off to bring more
building material as well as food for the both of them. I was fascinated to say
the least! I don’t know at what point the bird laid its eggs, but I realized
that she had started brooding and would stay perched over them, with occasional
shifts to change position. She stood up whenever the male brought her food, and
then she’d soon assume her place over her precious eggs. I watched this happen
day in and day out. I would draw my bedroom curtains early in the morning to see
what the bird was up to, and sure enough without fail the routine was just as
it had been from the start. I began to tell my husband about my little friends
who lived on the jacaranda tree. He was quite amused at first at how I’d taken
an interest on the birds, but before he knew it, he also began to have a soft
spot for them.
Yesterday morning I woke up and after many days and nights
of unbearable heat, I heard the sound of falling rain. Copious amounts of it
poured, and I was delighted! But when I stood in the kitchen looking out the
window I realized that my joy concerning the rain might not be shared by my
mother-to-be on the jacaranda tree. The rain was falling hard on her and just
like any brooding mother would, she braved it, and ensured that her eggs
remained shielded from the rain. I mentioned to my husband how sorry I felt that
they didn’t have shelter. Again, he was amused but reminded me that God created
them to survive and endure all sorts of weather. (I guess I already knew that. lol) My worries
were quickly forgotten as I got ready to leave for work. But somewhere in
between my thoughts and preparations I was interrupted by the sound of a
creature in distress! It took me a minute or two to register what was going on.
I dashed to my bedroom window and sure enough my fears were confirmed!
Now I don’t know how many of you have ever seen an eagle up
close…well yesterday I did. At first I was taken aback by how much presence
that bird possessed. It is a beautiful, strong, massive bird! Eagles are very rare;
I may have seen only two others in my lifetime and never were they this close.
But I quickly got over my awe and realized that the eagle was causing some
serious damage! It was eating the eggs that the other bird had been brooding
over for weeks! Now I too was in distress, and
called my husband hoping he could do something, anything to stop the
mess that was unfolding right in front of my eyes. He immediately began to clap
his hands loudly to scare the eagle, and it amazingly, it worked! The eagle
flew off and the other bird together with her mate who had been watching
helplessly at a distance quickly flew back to their nest to salvage whatever
was left. But less than a minute later the eagle swooped back to the nest and
the poor birds flew off again unable to stand up to it. Their cry for help was deafening,
and my husband was frantically clapping to scare the big bird off again and just
like the first time it flew off only this time perching just a few branches up
on the tree. The other birds returned once again to their nest, the mother
picked her eggs one by one, each with its contents gone…none had been spared.
In despair and frustration she threw the empty shells out of the nest. Though
this might sound somewhat silly, I whispered a prayer for the poor birds and
believe it or not, a minute later the eagle flew away, never to be seen again (I
hope).
I forgot that I’d been getting ready for work. I felt like
the birds in the nest were my project, my eggs! LOL. We continued to watch as
the mother bird tore it’s nest as though in mourning. It threw out the
feathers, sticks, leaves and tore it down to shreds. I am not one to be moved
by animals…my friends will testify to that. But that sight brought tears to my
eyes.
Well, I had to leave for work and my husband tried best as
he could to cheer me up, and as we recounted that dramatic event on the drive
to work he said, “That is so like the devil”. And I thought to myself, ‘Isn’t
it’? Isn’t it like the devil to let you work hard at building something…he
watches you as you put all your eggs in one basket (pun intended), watches you nurture them, and
just when they are about to hatch he comes and destroys them? The Word of God
calls him a destroyer, a usurper, a devourer, a killer of everything that lives
or has potential to live.
I thought of the countless times I have put my heart and
mind to something. I have invested my time, energy, and resources in projects
that I had faith in. And just like that brooding bird I’ve taken all the
necessary precautions to ensure that my plan, my dream was safeguarded against
any misfortune. But as life would have it, I’ve watched many of those slip
through my fingers like sand. Others have exploded in my face and only left
traces of the mess that was once my dream. I can relate to that bird tearing its
nest up because I’ve known how it feels to be so frustrated that tears cannot
suffice. I’ve wanted to be absent from everything that has brought pain and
destruction to my life. You know those
moments when you’re alive but you’ve totally checked out, resigned from life? These
are the dark nights of the soul; the overwhelming feeling of despair.
As I have continued to grow in my walk with the Lord I have
learned that He is the giver and keeper of my dreams. I have come to know that
there are times He allows the dark nights to come because He knows that His
grace will be sufficient for me. I also know that everything He allows to come
my way He somehow reworks for His glory and for my good. I am a much stronger
woman than I was before because the
constant breaking has pushed me to the
throne of grace. Sometimes I’ve had to crawl there, and other times I’ve gone
running. But either way I have found
healing for every brokenness, and restoration for every lost dream. I see now
how God used the dark threads in the tapestry of my life to draw me back to Himself.
The enemy of your soul is always on the prowl seeking to
devour you, and your dreams. If he can’t
take you out he will try to snuff out your purpose and your passion. But this
should in no way scare you. You must understand that he has no authority over
you as a believer. He will try and discourage you, but remember this: he is a
defeated foe!
When I got home from work yesterday I was so sad to see that
the birds had finished destroying their nest and vacated what had been their
home for weeks. I went to the bedroom to unwind and as I lay there I heard what
sounded like a ruffling of feathers. Could it be…? I got up and went to the
window and a big smile spread across my face. The birds! They were back! Well,
they were now on the farthest end of the tree, but what I could not believe was
that there was the tinniest genesis of a nest they had started constructing! They
were starting over! I could not contain my joy.
I realize now more than ever that God is not limited by
circumstances. If one dream has been destroyed, beloved, find the courage to
dream another! Don’t give up. I know even as I write this that the enemy is
kicking himself in the foot because he never knew I would turn up like this; he
never imagined it! Because of the countless times he’s hit me with his best
shot and yet here I am, still standing, still hoping, still believing…all by
the grace of God.
I pray that as you read this the spirit of God will breathe new
life into you. I hope you will gather yourself up and build another nest. Maybe
you had a miscarriage, or maybe your career plans fell apart. Maybe someone
broke your heart, or maybe you just lost your job. Whatever it may be, God is
more than able to heal, restore, and give you a new dream. I pray that He will
use every pain, every despair, and every hurt you have had to endure to be the
impetus that will push you closer to your destiny.
It’s not over; far from it. Build another nest.
Kambua M.
