A few days ago I bumped into someone I have known most of my life. We were never the best of friends, but have always been cordial with one another. I smiled when I saw her, but instead of getting a smile in return, she threw her sun glasses on, flipped her hair, and looked the other way. I thought to myself, surely, she did not just ignore me! Lol. I figured there was only one way to find out. Loudly, I called out her name, ‘hello Wairimu’! (not her real name). She quickly mumbled a greeting under her breath without making eye contact and briskly walked past me. Imagine my confusion...! I stood there a few seconds, stunned, trying to process what had just happened. I will admit, I was partly amused at how much effort she had put into ignoring me, but the other part of me was, yes, a little hurt and a little insulted. If her intention had been to hurt me, then *insert applause*, she succeeded.
Have you ever been in that situation, where you run up to someone to say hello and they ignore you, or you wave at them and they do not wave back? Then you awkwardly put your hand back down and look around hoping no one saw you? I am sure you know how humiliating that can be.
How about when you get a new job or join a new school and find someone you already knew. Your first instict is relief because this person can show you the ropes and you will not have to stick out like a sore thumb- but then the person acts as though you have never met before, infact...what was your name again...?
My little bizarre experience the other day made me think of one who knows my name and regardless of how many times I fall out, he never denies me as his own. I thought of Him, who wakes me up in the morning, showers me with love throughout the day, and then watches over me as I sleep. I thought of how nothing I do could ever make me earn or loose his love. It is unmerited and unconditional. I actually thought of how many times as a young believer I tried to give my friends a different impression of our relationship- That He and I were really not thaaaat close, because I wanted so desperately to fit in, and at whatever cost. It made me wonder how much it broke his heart, to have the one you love deny you.
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| Photography by Mwaniki Will |
Have I been the one to throw on my sunglasses and look the other way when He tried to reach out to me? When he told me to call sister so-and-so, or buy food for that mama sitting by the roadside...each time I have rolled up my window, each time I have ignored the prompting to encourage somebody, when I have shut my eyes instead of sparing a few minutes to thank Him for the day...every single time that I have opted to pick up a novel instead of opening my Bible to hear from Him, have I not been just like Wairimu*?
It breaks the heart of God when He constantly reaches out to us and we abuse his love by rejecting it. When he helps us clean up our messes and we give everybody the glory, but Him. How many times do we celebrate our BFF’s, our mothers, our pastors, but never Him? Never God? Our source of life and everything? Sure we have the lingo right, ‘I want to thank God for...’ but are we truly thankful? Because if we are, it would be more than lip service offered to him. It would be evident in the way we live our lives.
I am really grateful that I bumped into Wairimu* the other day and more so that she ignored me. Had I not had a refresher on being ignored (lol), I may not have taken time to reevaluate my relationship with God. As we continue on with this season of lent and prepare to celebrate Easter, may Christ be truly found in our hearts, holding the place of authority and reverence that He rightfully deserves.
From my heart to yours,
Kambua M.
