At the beginning of this year I decided to take a retreat. I
looked around and settled for a quiet, serene getaway and had the most amazing
time. The weather was great, but at night it got really cold, and thankfully
there was a fire place in my room. The people working there were very gracious
and helped light a fire in the evening when it started to get chilly. I loved coming
back to my warm, brightly lit room, and enjoyed the crackling sound of the
flickering fire. It was pure bliss, up until
when I had to put in more firewood and rearrange the logs in order it to keep
the fire going. Sometimes the flames would become so small and I would blow
into them, while frantically throwing in whatever I could find to keep the fire
going. In other words, I struggled! Eventually, I would give up, and watch the
fire die out, leaving me plunged in total darkness except for the embers which
remained hot for as long as they could. The glow that once filled my room,
gone- just as though it had never existed.
Have you ever heard about the ‘Torch Race’ in Ancient Greek
Olympics? Well up until recently, I hadn’t, so let me take a moment to
enlighten those of you who are as clueless as I was. The rules of the game were
that a torch would be passed on in a relay race. The aim of the game was to get
to the finish line as fast as possible, with the torch still ablaze. I was
fascinated when I read about this because the concept was different from what
most relays are like. It did not matter if you got to the finish line first,
what mattered was that you got there with your fire still on.
It occurred to me that our lives can somewhat be compared to
the torch race; running, and each one of
us hoping to get to the finish line. I realized sadly though that many of us
will get there with our torches off, because somewhere along the way we let our
fires die out. I understand now that it is not about how quickly my career
grows, or how many records I break. It’s all about the fire of God, the passion
burning within me as I cross that finish line.
Worse still, would be losing my fire whilst still serving
the Lord. Lately I’ve found myself exceptionally busy, and I am grateful to God
for all the opportunities He has accorded me to serve Him and grow in my
career. But as I look back and reflect upon my life I see the danger of being
caught up in activities and failing to realize the struggling fire of a torch
that was once ablaze with zeal for the Lord. Without the passion for God in our
lives we are bound to lead a dull and draining existence.
I have decided that I want to be fully aware of things that
could be detrimental to my passion, and realized that they are the proverbial ‘little
foxes’. Those things that creep up on you overtime, and before you realize,
they have caused irreparable damage. I have been praying that God will keep my
heart in check so that I do not become prideful or boastful, forgetting that I
have come this far only because of His grace. I have also asked Him to give me
a servant’s heart, to handle people and situations without feeling burdened by
them. I have asked the Lord to keep my eyes open to injustice, and cause me to
speak up instead of biting my tongue. I have also prayed that He will heal me
from wounds inflicted by people, some intentionally and others out of pure
ignorance. I pray that my heart will remain tender towards those that I love
and that my fire will continue to fan theirs as mine is fanned in return. But
most importantly I have prayed and asked that above all the noise and clutter,
it is the voice of truth that I will always hear- The voice of the Lord. The
voice that calls me to holiness…the voice that speaks life in my darkest
moments…that which keeps reminding me I am redeemed…the voice that urges me on;
pushing me to be more than I ever imagined I could be.
I want to finish strong; to know that when I am done here,
and my story is read, it will still bear the fire that stirs the hearts of
people, pointing them towards the source. I pray that even as you continue on
with your journey that you will take time to look back, and make sure that your
roots still run deep and that your heart is still in the right place. I desire
for you and me to get to the finish line at whatever pace God’s grace accords each
of us…but only with our torches still burning bright!
Kambua M.
