This has been a tough piece for me to write, but I made a choice to live my life like an open book, sharing my heart and trusting that God will use both my highs and lows to encourage you as you journey through life. If this were pen and paper, the pages would be full of blotted ink, but God has given me the strength to finish, so here goes.
Up until three weeks ago, I would watch the news and sometimes see a family that had been struck by some form of tragedy. While my
heart went out to them, I could never quite relate to the pain of their loss, until
it came knocking on our door. This was no longer about some far off people, it
was about my family. My aunt and cousin had been brutally murdered. I remember
how the news sent a cold chill down my back and it felt as though my heart
would stop beating. I have been mourning the loss of an aunt I so dearly loved,
and a cousin who had just began to realize her dreams. It was not so much the
pain of separation that consumed me, but the thought of how badly they died; a
painful, gruesome ending. The act was inhumane- no one deserves to die like
that, and I continue to pray that justice prevails. But the comfort I find is in
knowing that they loved the Lord.
I was
watching the video from our wedding and saw my aunt dance her heart away! I could not stop the tears from welling up
and running down my cheeks as I saw how full of life she was just a year ago,
and now, no more. The funeral service was by far the hardest one I have been
to. We remember our loved ones fondly amidst lots of tears, laughter, then some
more tears.
I have been thinking a lot lately, about my journey…about
the things that really matter. We spend our lives striving to be successful,
accumulating wealth, and hope to leave a legacy that outlives us. I do not mean
to trivialize any of these things, but I am now more aware of those that matter
more. I choose to live life reveling in my process, knowing that victory does
not lie just beyond the finish line; it lies in the journey as well as the lessons we learn
along the way. I am learning to nurture
and treasure my relationships, and to give my utmost best to every new day. But
most importantly I know that what truly matters is a true and honest
relationship with the Lord, because it determines where I spend eternity.
There is destiny, a vision that lies in each one of us. Not
only do we need to understand its magnitude, and the responsibility that falls
squarely on our shoulders, but also know that time is not in our hands; we cannot
dictate it, nor ignore it. None of us know when the light of our lives will be switched off. We do not know when the last song will be heard and the curtain
closes in on us.
If there is anything I can share from my heart to yours is
this: remain focused on what matters. Make your relationships right- both with
God and those around you. Death is so final-
if you have anything to fix, any fences to mend, do it now. Tell the people
in your life how much they mean to you; let them know that you love them. My
aunt loved us selflessly, and I thank God that she in turn knew how much we
loved her.
I would also urge you to make your peace with God. Many of
us walk around angry at God, disappointed with Him, or simply disinterested in
Him. But He keeps on pursuing us- do not reject His love. Do not make a make a
mockery of the sacrifice He made on the cross.
To the memory of my late aunt Kanene, and my late cousin
Beauty, I say rest in peace. May you dance with the angels. Your demise reminds
me that this world is not our home. We are just pilgrims on a journey- a
profound reminder lest we get too comfortable. Though I do not know when the
tears will stop falling, I thank God for the precious time we had with you.
In light of all that has happened…I’m more aware of that which matters most.
Kambua M.
