He Carries Your Name!

“When nothing seems to help, I go look at a stone-cutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it, but all that had gone before.” – Jacob A. Riis

When I first read this quote, it was almost as if for a few seconds everything came to a standstill. I had to take a moment to compose myself because I was at a coffee house and a break down would definitely have drawn a lot of curious stares that I was not prepared for. You see, I have been at this place where I feel like something has got to give. Day in day out I pour my heart out into what I do, and it still feels like I’m miles away from where I want to be.  You would think that having walked with God this long my faith would be stronger, but at the end of the day I am human and sometimes my spirit is weaker that it should be. 

I struggled to write this blog entry because I wasn’t certain I had much to offer…I wondered how God wants me to encourage someone, to love on them and remind them of His faithfulness while I have found myself walking a path of fear, doubt and discouragement. How can I possibly give what I don’t have? How can I tell you to hold on when I’ve considered giving up?

A few weeks ago our team had traveled to a school in Eldoret, and one of the students there gave me a little note that I slipped into my Bible. It seemed really cute at the time and I didn’t give it much thought, but today the words written on that piece of paper were like a lifeline- they jumped right out at me. I realized that God had known exactly what I would need today, and had already made provision for it long before I thought I needed it. And He used a person I had ministered to, to minister  to me in turn. Well, the note simply said, “Kambua, No way can God ever forget you; He carries your name engraved on the palms of His hands. Depend on it”! 

My vision is clearer now…the eyes of my faith had gotten a little misty for a moment there. I see the keeper of my dreams for who He is. He will never allow my foot to stumble. He won’t sit back and watch me crush and burn. He cannot bring me this far to abandon me. God is not just a starter, He is a finisher.  He is a Father whose joy is found in seeing me excel, because it brings Him glory. At this season in my life it may seem as though I’m working at things and seeing no results, but I compare myself to that stone-cutter who hammers at his rock over and over again. At first there seems to be no change, but soon cracks begin to appear and inevitably the rock splits in two. The breakthrough. It may have come at the hundred and first blow as Jacob Riis said, but it’s the first, the second…the fiftieth, the ninety third…all the blows that preceded it, that caused that rock to give in. 

So now I’m making a conscious decision to let go of the feeling of hopelessness, the fatigue, the self-imposed limitations, the fear...the glass ceiling I have so skilfully placed over my head.  I am letting go of every set back that has tried to get me off the path that God is skilfully working out for me. I will continue to crack my ‘rock’ until it gives in. I know that someday the tassel will be well worth the hassle. And my earnest hope is that you too, will keep at it; whatever God has placed in your hands to do, do with all your heart and might. You see, beloved, dwelling in the heart of God always ensures that whatever challenges you face, whatever pain you bear, will someday have divine purpose.

I now see that my dream is still pointing me forward, because anything that is born of God is progressive.  Just as the Star of David pointed the wise men towards the King, so is my dream- pointing steadily towards all that The King has prepared for me. 

The young girl who gave me the note might never know how real, true, and life-giving her words were  but I am so thankful for this reminder: God has my name engraved on the palm of His hands…which means that I am safe and secure there- in the hands that deliver me…The hands in whose touch I find healing. The hands that comfort me…the hands upon which my name is written. These hands not only carry my name; they carry yours too.

Kambua M.