There's a way out...

I don't think my heart can possibly take the heartbreak that comes with reading another suicide story. They are so many...all around us. But what baffles me is how we still want to bury our heads in the sand and act as though mental illness is not real. Or that it only affects some people. Actually, I'm not sure what angers me more- the fact that we dance around it, or the stigma that surrounds people who say they are depressed and suicidal. 

"Ciku has issues"...

"Peter lost it a long time ago"...

"Eish, I hear mama Mary has been seeing a counselor..."! 

All these things said in hush tonnes, in our gossip corners or worse yet, shared as "prayer requests" among one another. Don't you see how difficult we make it for people who actually need help? How the undertone of our attitudes and conversations discourage them from speaking up?

So obviously I am no expert- just a passionate person who has lost people I've loved and looked up to, because they were too afraid to ask for help. Do you ever wonder about that jamaa or that lady who seems "ok" on the socials but ends up falling off the edge? And you go scrolling through their feed looking for clues, trying to see if they had dropped hints about their struggle and sometimes coming up with nothing. Because we have all become masters of masquerading how we really feel to keep up appearances. We have learned that societal pressure places an expectation on us to portray an image of perfection, and God forbid that anyone detects where the cracks are. 

I have heard it said, "check on your strong friends", but I dare say, "check on all your friends". When you can, sit down and have a cup of tea, take a walk together... connect- really connect. Call them if they are far away. I find that I am able to pick up on certain things by looking into my friends eyes, or hearing their voices. If they're in trouble, it may not be as easy to conceal as a text message or chat that sometimes doesn't quite carry the tone of a conversation. 

Let the people in your life know that they matter. Let them know you care. Let them know you are here. Let's cultivate the art of listening; I mean really truly listening to one another without being quick to offer solutions. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to offload without feeling judged. Job in the Bible had so many afflictions, and his friends came and sat with him. There are times when all you need to do, is sit with someone, or hug them, or just let them cry.

And now to anyone who feels as though they are on the edge of a free fall, please hear me say: nothing is too broken that it cannot be fixed. Not even your heart. I know that the depths of despair offer no hope, no light, no answers, and seemingly no way out. But, there is a way out, and suicide is not it. Don't isolate yourself. Talk to someone. If not your family, or friends, call a counselor, or a pastor. (I'm going to share some contact information at the bottom of this post for a 24/7 counseling call center). 
Listen, you are not alone, and you're not the first to feel like giving up.

Please, please, I beg you- Talk. To. Someone. Do not give up. Don't give in to the voices telling you that there's nothing left for you. If your house is in ruins, by the grace of God you can build it up again. 

From my beating heart, to yours.

Kambua M. 

NISKIZE- 24 hr counseling call center: 0900 620 800