"Ciku has issues"...
"Peter lost it a long time ago"...
"Eish, I hear mama Mary has been seeing a counselor..."!
All these things said in hush tonnes, in our gossip corners or worse yet, shared as "prayer requests" among one another. Don't you see how difficult we make it for people who actually need help? How the undertone of our attitudes and conversations discourage them from speaking up?
So obviously I am no expert- just a passionate person who has lost people I've loved and looked up to, because they were too afraid to ask for help. Do you ever wonder about that jamaa or that lady who seems "ok" on the socials but ends up falling off the edge? And you go scrolling through their feed looking for clues, trying to see if they had dropped hints about their struggle and sometimes coming up with nothing. Because we have all become masters of masquerading how we really feel to keep up appearances. We have learned that societal pressure places an expectation on us to portray an image of perfection, and God forbid that anyone detects where the cracks are.
I have heard it said, "check on your strong friends", but I dare say, "check on all your friends". When you can, sit down and have a cup of tea, take a walk together... connect- really connect. Call them if they are far away. I find that I am able to pick up on certain things by looking into my friends eyes, or hearing their voices. If they're in trouble, it may not be as easy to conceal as a text message or chat that sometimes doesn't quite carry the tone of a conversation.
Let the people in your life know that they matter. Let them know you care. Let them know you are here. Let's cultivate the art of listening; I mean really truly listening to one another without being quick to offer solutions. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to offload without feeling judged. Job in the Bible had so many afflictions, and his friends came and sat with him. There are times when all you need to do, is sit with someone, or hug them, or just let them cry.
And now to anyone who feels as though they are on the edge of a free fall, please hear me say: nothing is too broken that it cannot be fixed. Not even your heart. I know that the depths of despair offer no hope, no light, no answers, and seemingly no way out. But, there is a way out, and suicide is not it. Don't isolate yourself. Talk to someone. If not your family, or friends, call a counselor, or a pastor. (I'm going to share some contact information at the bottom of this post for a 24/7 counseling call center).
Listen, you are not alone, and you're not the first to feel like giving up.
Listen, you are not alone, and you're not the first to feel like giving up.
Please, please, I beg you- Talk. To. Someone. Do not give up. Don't give in to the voices telling you that there's nothing left for you. If your house is in ruins, by the grace of God you can build it up again.
From my beating heart, to yours.
Kambua M.
NISKIZE- 24 hr counseling call center: 0900 620 800
Kambua ❤ just sending love your way for this beautiful article. Thank you for sharing your heart in a most loving and bold manner. I can attest to the fact you listen genuinely, and through you I have learned the value of doing the same when there's an opportunity. Keep being a bright light always ✨ Blessings, Makena
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ReplyDeletebless you K
ReplyDeleteThis is great Kambua. I'm no expert too but my heart has lately been drawn to this issue of mental illness. Just yesterday, I read about the Pastor from California who committed suicide and I asked myself do we have a number in Kenya where one can call when suicide becomes the option. I guess we do now... God bless you abundantly for talking about it and being part of the solution
ReplyDeleteLovely soul and an inspiration to many
ReplyDeleteThe message is timely and aptly put Kambua...May God keep on blessing you so that you can continue being a blessing to others.
ReplyDeleteIncredible insights. "check on all your friends." Noted with love.
ReplyDelete***THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:****
ReplyDeletePortugal is the Biggest Racist country that i have ever lived in. I feared for my life there and i consider myself lucky that my family got out alive! I have never lived in such poverty (Sopas dos Pobres everyday) 40% unemployment rate and 60% of the population earn less than $932 USD per month, and that's considered Middle Class here! Within the European Union it is the worst of the worst place to live.
The bottom line is the bulk of the People in our poor country exist in a brainless comma that is fed by Ignorance, anti-Spanish hate, and severe Racism of pretty much everybody that isn't Portuguese! And, Portugal started the Global Slave Trade in 1441 so it is definitely NOT a safe place for Blacks!!
I found important websites that explain the Severe multi-generational Racism and Hate that exist in Portugal today, and i highly encourage all to read them and spread the word in order to avoid innocent, and desperate people from living or visiting there. Get educated on the Truths about Racist Portugal now.
PORTUGAL IS THE BIGGEST, RACIST, ANTI-SPANISH COUNTRY ON THE PLANET!
I HEREBY ALERT ALL PEOPLE ON EARTH TO NOT BUY FROM PUTUGAL, DO NOT SPEND YOUR HARD, EARNED MONEY GOING THERE AND BOYCOTT ALL PORTUGEE STORES IN YOUR AREA! DON'T BUY THEIR GOODS OR WINES!!!
THESE XENOPHOBIC RACISTS HAVE TO LEARN AND THE BEST WAY IS TO BLOCK THEM ECONOMICALLY!
BE CAREFUL FRIENDS!
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