Wait Your Turn

I am continually amazed at how much good news there is on Facebook, twitter, and instagram. Not a day goes by without seeing someone’s fabulous selfies, engagement pictures, wedding pictures...or a celebration of a new born baby, a graduation...or that someone bought a new car, a new house, got a new job...or my boyfriend did this, and my girlfriend did that...and just how everyone is living and loving life! Now you must admit that there are days when all that good news is simply depressing. I wonder to myself sometimes, are people really this happy? All the time? And then I realized that even I have mastered the art of social media glamour and glitz; I have learned to masquerade my feelings even when I feel nothing close to what my pictures and updates reflect.

What a superficial world we live in. How many times have you heard of someone you're acquainted with that has slipped into depression, or committed suicide? And then you log onto their Facebook page, and can’t quite tell what went wrong, because they seemed to have had it all together.

Last year I shared with you the story of Hannah. Can you imagine how hard it was for her to put on a facade while deep down she was hurting due to a deep desire being unmet?

How about Sarah, Abraham’s wife? She was beautiful, but she was also barren. Can you imagine the shame of being married to a man of God as powerful as Abraham and being unable to conceive?

Think about Elijah, who despite being a great prophet and man of faith, battled depression. God had used him in such a powerful way, and yet Elijah wished he would die.

How about the classic story of Job? Losing everything and just about everyone he loved, and on top of that being plagued by serious illness?

What about the Shepherd boy by the name of David- God sent the Prophet Samuel to anoint him as King. But it took sixteen years before the manifestation of that promise. Sixteen years! Can you imagine that?

In a world where everyone seems to be doing just fine, hear me say this: you are not alone. Everyone has their secret pain, a proverbial thorn in the flesh. The pot may look whole on the outside, but only when you fill it with water do you see the cracks it bears. The world is a capricious place, and things often happen that throw us off balance- no one is exempt. You may be reading this whilst having a silent storm, feeling frustrated and very alone because everyone seems to be walking on air, living abundant and meaningful lives. Beloved you must believe and understand that God will fulfill His purpose for your life, and He never fails.

I know how it feels to have a gnawing restlessness and vague dissatisfaction. But I also know how it feels when I surrender all that uncertainty to God. He makes it all worthwhile. You see, God never promised that you’d always walk on water. He never promised that your journey would be easy. But he did promise that when (not if) you go through the fire it will not burn you; and when you go through the waters they will not drown you. God also promises that He will never leave you nor forsake you. Which means that when you feel alone and it seems that no one can relate to your secret pain, you are not alone; God is right there with you.

Wait your turn beloved. After the storm the sun shines. After your pain grace abides. God I pray that when our patience is tested we will rest in you as a trustworthy authority that never fails. I pray that as we wait we will learn even more that your heart beats for, and not against us.

Beloved, I pray that this season will not wreck your view of God, but instead give you a deeper insight of who He truly is. May He grant you the strength to wait your turn.

From my heart to yours,

Kambua M.

Stay Connected

If your mother is anything like mine, then my story will resonate well with you. But even if she’s not, stay with me, I promise I’m going somewhere with this: My mother is an amazing woman of faith and the older I get the more I glean from her strength and wisdom. Growing up, I would hear my mother pray early in the morning before sunrise. Every day without fail, she woke up to talk to God. I heard her pray because her prayers were not whispered, they were loud! ;-) When my mom prayed she mentioned just about everyone I know by name, asking for God to bless them…and then of course when it boiled down to us, her children, she'd pray for blessings but also about whatever issues we were dealing with. We only had to be awake to know what was going on in one another's lives! Mama talked to God about it, never mind that other people might hear. Bless her heart! I realized that the ‘mango’ doesn’t fall too far from the tree when I went to live with my grandmother for a few weeks, and the routine was the same- actually hers was worse...I learned about the history of Makueni through her prayers! Ehh…!! 

The other day I had to have a medical procedure that required me to be on bed-rest, and I ended up staying at my mom’s. I realized that very few things have changed about her, and this one thing has remained constant: my mom still wakes up early in the morning to talk to God…about my issues and many other wonderful things! Lol

Photography by Emmanuel Jambo

It was then than I started thinking to myself that my mother must have discovered the secret to making it through life. It dawned on me that the reason why she’s rock-solid, the reason why she’s as strong as a palm tree is because of her relationship with God. Palm trees have roots that not only spread out a great distance, but also go down deep. A palm tree can bend in a storm, but it will not break. I have watched my mom weather some very big storms, seen her deeply hurt, observed as she’s gone through the vicissitudes of life, but still she rises. 

And then I started to think about myself and saw the patterns clearly…the seasons that I have chosen to walk alone have been the toughest by far. Sometimes I have found myself walking away from God because I felt hurt, sometimes out of stubbornness, and other times out of flat out pride. In those moments I speak a litany of lies to myself as the world crumbles around me, and then end up hurt, broken, and having nowhere to turn, but to God.

On the flip-side there are other seasons where I have trusted God no matter the outcome. These have been pretty tough, but there seems to have been a softer landing when I've allowed God to go through them with me. 

Beloved, we always know the right road to follow, and yet we follow only the road that we have become accustomed to, the path of least resistance. We seem to live above the struggle, beneath the radar… somewhat gliding through life, but this path is also one that leads to desolation and deep despair, because you see I have found nothing worse than being outside the grace of God. It’s the grace of God that carries us when life overwhelms us. It’s His grace that keeps and sustains us. It’s only the grace of God that takes our shortcomings and mistakes and turns them into gain, instead of shame. It’s the grace of God that makes all the difference.

I have often heard it said that the will of God will never take you where His grace cannot protect you. Ain’t that the truth! When you walk under the shadow of God, he protects you and makes provision for all that you need. Away from it you become vulnerable, and prey for the enemy. 

I am making a choice to dig deeper…to discover the secret of staying connected to God, just like my mother did. I hope you do too!

From my heart to yours,

Kambua M.

It Will Set You Free!

The other day I was having a very raw and honest conversation with one of my sisters. I was telling her how I have come to realize that I hold a very high expectation of people in my life, almost as though people 'owe' me. I imagine that since I have been there for them, then they should be there for me. Or since I have invested in a friendship, then it ought to last for ever. But the harsh reality that has finally dawned on me is that I am entitled to nothing.

If you're anything like me then you have found yourself one too many times struggling to hold onto friendships that have run their course, and all that's left is a lot of awkward moments and scanty conversations. And the more you try to make the relationship work, the more vulnerable you become...the more hurt you get. It is very taxing to be at a place that you do not belong.

Some of you reading this are in relationships that you well know are not right for you. Holding onto a man or woman who does not see your value, and in order to validate your self worth, you sell yourself short by pleading and begging them to stay with you, while make all sorts of excuses as to why you’re still holding on...

But this is not just about relationships you see, it could be a job that you're struggling to maintain knowing that your time to move is long overdue. The signs are written on the wall, clear for all to see- so what are you afraid of?

Do you remember the story of Naomi and Ruth? Do you also remember the third woman we do not talk too much about? Orpah? She was Naomi's daughter-in-love, (just like Ruth was). She loved and served Naomi faithfully (just like Ruth did). But when time came for Naomi to go back to Bethlehem from Moab, things changed. Orpah chose to stay behind in Moab while Ruth decided to go wherever Naomi would go. I believe that Orpah was a good woman, and her intentions were good, but she did not have the heart, the courage, nor the love to follow Naomi into the 'unknown'. Her season in Naomi's life was over.

Photography by Mwaniki Will

How many of us recognize when a season is over and yet want to extend it because we are in denial? Beloved, can't you see? Your destiny often requires a working and reworking that will more often than not be uncomfortable and far from easy. But painful as it may be, you must accept the gift of goodbye. And when all is said and done you will find yourself lighter, happier, and free, almost like a load has been taken off of you.

As we walk into a new month, find the courage to walk away from things that have run their course in your life. Scary as it may be, it will be well worth your while. I can promise you that.  Say goodbye to the seasons that have ended and a big hello to new friendships, a new career, new and endless possibilities. There is a blessing in your goodbye!

From my heart to yours,

Kambua M.